“You are not important to him but you ARE important.”
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling with tears slipping down the sides of my face, repeating these words over and over again. Repeating the phrase that I knew deep down was true, but that my shattered confidence wanted to suffocate. I felt anything but special, important or valuable.
The truth is that I am important and valuable, even if the person that I wanted to acknowledge that the most wouldn’t.
We all have that person. For some of us it’s just a seasonal relationship, a short-lived romance or friendship; someone we want approval and validation from. For others it’s a permanent relationship, like seeking the approval of a parent that has never quite satisfied a longing for acceptance. Then plenty of us are chronic people pleasers that are constantly looking for that nod of approval, never quite feeling good enough.
But no one in our lives actually has a monopoly on our worth. It is just a fact that we are worthy.
In our lowest lows when everything feels like it’s falling apart, we must look at the facts. The fact is that I am loved. I am many good things and those things remain, regardless if one person doesn’t think so. A million other people do think so. I need to listen to the loving and positive voices in my life – spoken by the people who truly care, rather than the one who doesn’t.
We are all a little bit broken and hurt each other, often very unintentionally. I know I’ve certainly hurt people and made them feel less than worthy. We are all guilty but that’s why we don’t let someone else’s failings speak louder than the facts:
You are loved.
You are important.
You are not alone.
I know these are three true facts for anyone reading this. If you really do feel alone: There are good people around us and we need to reach out and be vulnerable to connect with them. It’s easy to feel alone when surrounded by people, but when you’re really honest about where you’re at, that’s when the loneliness feels a little less intense. We are all lonely because we’re all singular people – another fact. But the good news is that we can all help cure loneliness if we reach out.
We feel a lot of different things all the time. In those moments we have to reach down and pull out the facts, no matter how untrue they seem.
It is a fact that you are loved by someone, somewhere. Don’t lose sight of the facts.