My story is not unlike many others and yet my story is my own.
My name is Michelle and I have been treated badly by men in my past and it stops now.
I have had too many men in the past seek out friendship with me, building bonds of intimacy, gifts, time, physical affection beyond friends and then turned it around and said we were just friends or that I was making something up in my head.
I know I am not alone. I know that you are out there and you are hurting. You think you are going crazy. You believe that you saw something that was not there. You are trying to understand where it all went wrong.
I am writing this for all the women who have ever been disrespected.
I am writing this for all those girls who have excused bad behavior.
To the girls who have let men emotionally abuse them and to those who have been taken advantage of emotionally.
I am talking to the girls who feel like they couldn’t speak out because perhaps they may not have the physical scars of abuse, but the psychological damage still remains. I am talking to the girls whose guy friends strung them along and then told them they were only friends.
I am writing this for me.
The disrespect has got to stop.
Beautiful girl, if you’re reading this and you have had your heart broken by the boy next door, the guy at church or that dude you met on Tinder…whoever it was you need to understand that you are a treasure.
Sometimes I think that as a society we excuse the bad behavior of emotional abuse between “friends” because it is easier to disregard what someone is feeling than the signs of physical abuse.
We somehow justify the fact that it is okay for someone to date us, pursue us and then drop us without explanation as how things work. Or we believe that it is excusable to spend all your time with a person, in a relationship that is everything but titled as dating and then tell that person they are crazy because “you never said you were their boyfriend”.
As women we are so tricked into thinking that we are going crazy or that we somehow saw things differently than the guy did. We are told we are emotional or needy or sensitive or “reading into things” when in reality we are being put into quasi-relationships with no commitment and test driven, or just simply manipulated.
Lovely girl, you are worth more than this. Yes, of course pursue healthy, consensual relationships, but do it with intention and understanding of what you want from the relationship and if that changes, stop.
You are a treasure. You are wonderful. You are so worth loving. Most of all, you are worthy of respect.
As I said in the beginning, my story is my own and the reasons I have allowed bad behavior to creep into my life is a story for an entirely different post. However, the solution remains the same.
Know your worth and fight for it. If you can’t fight for it yourself, find someone to help you fight with you.
Block numbers, unfriend, unfollow, kick them out of your life.
If someone wants to properly be in your life they will work to be there, they will be intentional, they will be loving.
It is okay to be alone.
It is okay to be single.
It is okay to tell someone that they have not been kind or pure with your heart.
It is okay to fight for you.
We have one heart.
There is no need to allow someone who does not deserve it to take a piece of it.
Last week I met a guy at a party.
He asked me out for coffee.
He made his intentions clear.
It didn’t kill him or me.
Know your worth.
Written and loved on by Michelle Plett