It Doesn't Make Sense

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I don’t have any idea what’s happening in my life right now, but I’m not fighting against myself for the first time in a long time, and that feels really gratifying. I’ve spent far too many days worrying about what other people would think of me if I did something, or felt something. 

I realized not that long ago that I need to veritably feel the things that I feel, without judging myself for it. Last night we talked about how in order to get to a place of inner truth and acceptance, we have to let go of the judgmental monster in our heads. I’ve felt guilty for feeling conflicting and complicated feelings, and whatever guilt and negative feelings you deliver on to yourself for feeling that way prevents you from accepting your own truth.

That judgement over our own feelings prevents us from acceptance. You can’t accept something you judge, can you? So in order to accept yourself and your feelings, you have to stop judging yourself for having those feelings in the first place. 

And the funny thing is that a lot of us don’t even realize that we’re judging ourselves for feeling feelings, it’s completely normal and natural until you realize that it’s not.

Sometimes things don’t make sense. Actually, more often than not, things don’t seem to make sense. But things can make sense, inside of you. But things aren’t always so black & white. Life is full of grey. I’m a walking paradox, and I know it, but I’m doing the very best that I can at figuring this stuff out and showing my true self to those around me. There are lots of layers to everyone, and some people’s layers are more well rounded than others. And sometimes one layer is more defined than another layer.

But at the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can. And I think it’s really important for us to be patient with each other. We’re all figuring our stuff out, and we can’t expect everyone to be “done” yet. All we can do is be a kind ear, and help each other through our own battles and complications

 Written and loved on by Tara Jean