I couldn’t sleep the other night. Not necessarily in a bad way, I just could not shut my brain off. I thought about who I am, and the type of person that I’d like to be. I thought of where I’ve come from, and where I hope to go.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, of this I am certain. But I’ve also made a lot of really great decisions. My favorite almost mistake that I’ve made was moving to Los Angeles. My whole life, I had always wanted to live in LA. And when my brother made the move 2 years before I did, there was no stopping me. I wanted to do it, too. I wanted to be brave and I wanted to show people that I’m not afraid.
Turns out I was afraid, and I sometimes still am. LA is a really big city. Some of the people I’ve met here are nothing like I’ve ever met before. It was a pretty huge culture shock, for real. My first year in LA I was pretty miserable. I struggled with paralyzing depression. Most days, I didn’t want to leave the house, let alone speak to another human being. I felt completely and utterly alone. The friends that I thought I had turned out not to be anything of the sort, my long term boyfriend and I broke up only a month after arriving in LA. I didn’t have a job, I didn’t know anyone, the streets all looked the same, and the most conversation that I had was with the cashier at 711 when I was buying frozen pizzas. Basically, LA sucked, and I hated almost everything about it.
And then, something happened. Something aligned for me and it was like LA was a whole new place and it was exciting. I realized that my battle was purely internal. Everything that I was afraid of was internal. What other people think of me is none of my business, and why should I determine my self worth based on what others thought of me? I have a lot to offer, I have a lot to say, and I’m passionate.
Have you ever been around a child in the morning? Have you ever seen the excitement on their faces when they wake up and it’s a new day? I don’t know exactly what it is that these kids are always so excited about in the morning, but there is something to be said of that type of excitement. My theory is simple, it’s a new day. And that in itself is exciting.
Everyday is a new day, with new challenges and new opportunities. Every single day is a chance to do something new, to try something different, to meet a new person, to inspire someone around you. I don’t know about you, but the possibilities for a new day excite the heck out of me. And I am just grateful for the chance to be a part of the ride.