I'm Here

By: Dominique S // Instagram: @amentallife

Who am I?

Where do I start when I foresee no end; no end to an account off all the experiences, all of the travesties, and all of the triumphs, that make me endless.

Who am I?

My name is Dominique, the daughter of an esteemed veteran and strong spirit, who lay the world at my feet and ignited the incurable wanderlust in me; I'm a sister, a believer, a mother, and a wife, but above all, I'm here.  You may have expected me to insert some form of positive expression or profound literary notion concretely defining my existence, in the place of the simplistic 'I'm here', but my story of how I've come to the place of accepting the 'I'm here', will hopefully help you at least understand my conscious identity.

For the past three years, I've unconsciously battled with the meaning of existence, so clouded by darkness and an immense sense of lowness, imagining life with the lifeless, while feeling intense guilt for these dark dreams that I consciously couldn't shake.  Medically, this battle has been deemed chronic depression, but in laymen's terms I have deemed it hell; a living purgatory of sorts.  I could write for hours, describing to you every dark thought and every dampening moment that this disease has conjured up in me, but that would only add insult to fire.  Instead I am here to attempt to go against the grain and shed peculiar light on a dark subject; a subject that comes with many judgements and stigma attached to it.

So, Who am I?

I'm here.

I'm a survivor.  I'm surviving.  I'm here.

I'm living though my subconscious may say otherwise.

I'm here, and since I'm here, I have a story to tell; a story that isn't pretty, but it's uniquely mine, yet contextually common, and I want to tell it.  To save my life and so many others who identify as 'I'm here'.  

Hi.  My name is Dominique, and this is my journey of survival.