Dark Moments



“It’s still snowing? Ok, I’m gonna get the shoveling started because it looks like it’s ending soon.” I said. Mar just looked at me and gave me a small smile that said “Thank you." 

It’s amazing to me how even the faintest light reflects off of snow, making it very easy to see at night. I grabbed the shovel and began slowly and methodically cleaning the first part of the driveway, closest to the garage. As I fell into rhythm, the thoughts of the past few days slipped into the back of my mind for the first time. 

The past two weeks have been hard. I guess losing someone you love dearly is not supposed to be easy. It was an unexpected. An unexpected moment in life. When these moments have happened in my life, I typically react in one of two ways. Either, I find myself paralyzed, unable to act, or I begin to fill my minutes with activity, running full steam until I’m out of breath. Here in the evening, in the rhythm of my shoveling, I did something different. I slowed down and I took a breath.

As I paused, I sat down on the newly fallen snow, breathing in and out. It was then the person I had lost came to me and was a whisper in the falling snow. Four simple words, "Take care of her.” For the first time in days, I began to cry. Really cry. I held it together for my children and wife in hope of providing strength where they had none. Now it was my turn.

What I realized as I lay there in the snow was that in these unexpected moments, in these darkest of days I am never alone. The whisper proved that to me. As I let this sink in, I began to think about how many of our friends came and supported us, and how many friends reached out to us just to let us know that they are here if we need them. 

This life brings so much joy and so much pain. If you find yourself in an unexpected moment, please know that you are not alone. WE are always here to share in your pain and provide strength and encouragement in the quiet moments.


Post by Andy Ryan