I look out the window to see the beautiful sunshine. While there is new evidence that spring is emerging around my little home in the woods, I can’t seem to get past the reflection that is looking back at me. I see a young woman who is tired and worn by lies that penetrated her soul for years. I can see the bags under my eyes from another restless night’s sleep, consumed with memories I would like to forget. In the midst of this inner battle, there is a glimmer in my eyes that is becoming brighter as each day comes. I am starting to shed off the lies one by one and unveiling a new and stronger version of myself.
Words have the power to mold and shape those around us. Sometimes people shoot their words out like verbal daggers, never worrying about the slow, bleeding wounds they leave upon their victim.
When you have a constant flow of hurtful words thrown at you daily, it becomes harder and harder to not let them define you.
- When it is all you hear, you begin to believe the lies, the ones that tell you that you’re ugly, or will never amount to much because you don’t deserve it. You give up, you shut up, and you sit nicely and become your enemies’ marionette.
We have to learn to cut the strings, to break free and let go of not only the hurtful words, but the people who have opened their mouths and continually and intentionally brought us down.
The hardest thing I have ever done is realizing that sometimes you have to hit that block button. You have to stop answering the phone calls, and stop returning to that place of hurt. Other people may tell you that burning bridges is not forgiveness, or that you are being dramatic, but stand strong. You can choose to forgive those who have verbally abused you, but that does not mean you have to continue to be their friend, their partner, or even involved family member. This isn’t your incapability to take a joke, or a sign of you being weak. If words have brought you down to rock bottom and have caused you to believe you are worthless, they are nothing more thanlies.
They may hurt your core, but they are not your truth. Carrying those wounds for years will only suck you dry of any life you have inside of you. It is time to let go.
For me, learning to let go has been a long process spanning of years of tears and self-searching. Finding that strength like a warrior is not something that happens over night. It is a process of acceptance, of action, and of letting go. It takes time, but eventually the rubble will be moved and I, as well as you, will see the sun again.
You are worth it all. You are worth loving, worth seeing your dreams turned into reality, and worth seeing the beauty that radiates from your core. That is the truth that is trying to shout over the ones that tell you the opposite. Search for it until it becomes so loud that it drowns out the doubts. You are worth the time it will take to finally break free.
Written and loved on by Ali Hightower
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