I wish I had a great story about how I overcame my depression or had finally dealt with the abuse that I endured for years as a child, but I'm still in the beginning of my journey.
The first time I was raped I was six years old. It happened almost everyday for five years and I never told anyone. Then I was raped again at age 14. Again, I kept it my secret. I thought that if it kept happening to me then I must have caused it. Last year I was gang raped by my best friend and six other people. Three months later I broke my silence.
There are still a lot of people who I haven't told, but my therapist knows about everything now and she's helping me to work through my issues. Telling her what happened was hard, but it was worth it.
Especially because I just became a mother. My daughter was conceived during my last rape, but she is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I work hard to chose love over sadness or anger every single day of my life. Because of my baby girl, I know that I have to try and be my best, which can be hard sometimes because I'm only 19 and I don't always even know what is best for myself. I am new at this and I'm giving myself grace to figure out what my little family needs.
Working on my myself is a process. And some days go better than others, but I know that in the end what's best for my daughter is me being a strong, healthy person who can pour love into myself and the people around me instead of focusing on the pain in my life. So for now I'm going to focus on joy and hope and love.