It’s not just those who are single who struggle with self love. Whether it’s from ourselves, or others, it’s a universal worry. We hear how those who are single may find them selves not worthy, but what about those who are in a relationship? Everyone struggles and no one is let off the hook, despite the way it may seem from the outside.

There are a few things surrounding the topic of self love that can do damage to not only ourselves, but our relationships as well. I’ve been inspired to share some of those point that are close to my personal struggles or experiences:

1. Self Confidence
Sure, self confidence turns heads when you’re on the hunt for that perfect date, but what about once you’ve found them? Some people, myself included, let go of confidence once they don’t have to “reel someone in” because they’re comfortable around their other half. Or maybe you appear confident on the outside, but inside you’re hurting and hunting for something to make you more secure. Self confidence is not only good to have for you, but it allows loved ones to put their confidence in you more easily. And let’s face it – confidence is and always will be attractive.

2. Being Happy with Other’s Achievements
Time and time again, I hear people complain about their lives compared to someone they care about; a family member, friend, acquaintance, or even a significant other. Although today we are caught in a competitive life style for success, that does not define us. I have even caught myself getting caught up in not being as happy for a loved one because of my own selfish goals. A little over a year ago, my boyfriend got a job with a coffee company that I loved and wanted to work for. When I first got the news, a tornado of emotions set loose inside me. As happy and excited as I was for him, I felt as if I had failed myself and couldn’t help but be a little jealous of his job opportunity. But now, I couldn’t be more proud of him, and it pushed me to want a job I was passionate about. As our SWL Blog Editor Micaela once said over Twitter:

“When you are secure in your own identity, future, and success, you can be happy for others when they strike gold in theirs!”

3. Comparing Yourself (To Anyone)
Comparing ourselves can be bad for our minds and our confidence, and can even become a bad habit – but comparing ourselves in a relationship just puts stress on the both of you. Striving to be a better person for the people you love is one thing, but when it causes negative thoughts or comparisons, it can be dangerous to ourselves and our relationships.

Ultimately, being happy with and accepting of yourself is best if you’re single or in a loving relationship. And there is no one who is struggling with self acceptance alone.

Accept Yourself.
Be Confident in Yourself.
Notice Your Achievements.
Know You Are Worth Loving

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Question: How have romantic relationships affected your self-worth?