By Ashlyn Harrelson
When did we (including myself) allow someone else to determine our worth? Why do we allow one person or a group of people to decide that what we have to offer is valuable? What causes us to base our worthiness on the acceptance of anyone other than ourselves?
It is time that we all start believing in ourselves and our abilities. We all have something special to offer and just because one person or one group does not see it does not mean that no one else does or will. Self-love, just like finding your life purpose, just like meditation, just like a healthy lifestyle, just like mindfulness, takes practice.
This past week when my alarm went off at 5:45 a.m. I immediately said to myself “today is going to be good” over and over again before I even turn the alarm on my phone off. Before my feet hit the floor I have set the tone for my day. Maybe this is overly simple but it’s where I am right now. It’s been working too. Everyday last week was a good day. Sure there were stressful moments or things that did not go how I wanted but those were just moments in my day. My mindset was to have a good day and I refused to let anything change that.
Since my breakup, and even before it, I questioned myself a lot. Was I pretty enough? Was I intelligent enough? Could I keep his attention? How can I make him show me more love? What do I need to do to get him to commit to me?
You were enough maybe you were too much maybe he prefers less and you deserve more.
And this is absolutely where the title of this blog comes into play. Because I am more than enough. I am more than enough for myself and I am more than enough for the right man. I should never feel that I am not enough for someone. I should know that I am a full person who is beyond worthy.
For about a month now I have repeated a few sentences to myself: I am beautiful. I am strong. I am interesting. I am loving. I am deserving. I am worthy. I have a lot to offer. I am enough.
No, this is not easy. No, I do not always feel so certain about what I am telling myself. Especially when the one person who should have appreciated these parts of me did not see me as any of these things or as worthy.
It takes practice and I have promised to practice everyday because deep inside I know I am these and so much more. My hope is that anyone who has ever felt unworthy or like they are not enough of anything will know that they were simply unappreciated. And maybe it is going to take a lot of self-love and learning to appreciate yourself before anyone else recognizes it but the relationship you have with yourself is the most important. How can you truly love another if you do not love yourself? So work on yourself and the right people will come into your life when you are ready.
When you are broken and he has left you do not question whether you were enough the problem was you were so enough he was not able to carry it.