By: Michelle Plett
Recently I told a guy that I wasn’t going to meet up with him. We met on Bumble and while he seems like a really nice guy (we’ve talked on the phone), his text messages suggested that taking the time to drive to me was criteria of my value.
Having told me that I seemed like someone who has a lot of great energy and loves life should have been enough, in a city full of broken dreams and shattered goals, to get in his car and meet me for a coffee.
Instead, I got “send me the address and we will see”.
I promptly told him that my deadlines (for this article) were more important and yay, now I have a topic for this month’s blog. Thanks random Bumble guy.
The point is not to be rude or dismissive of someone. In fact, this guy could redeem himself. He has not yet answered back, but hey…I could just be super sensitive to text communication. OR, my gut feelings could be correct and this guy doesn’t understand that his communication is showing me that he doesn’t really value me.
And that’s okay.
I don’t need this date.
You don’t either. When a man or woman expresses interest in you and then flakes, you deserve more.
The people who innately understand the inherent value of a human being do not flake. Sure things can come up and we can be gracious and/or apologetic, but being flakey and dismissive is not something you deserve.
And I know, you don’t get asked out a lot. He’s paying attention now. She is flirting more than usual. It’s so easy, dear one, to get caught up in that. In the now and in the endorphins we feel when someone pays attention to us. However, being at someone’s beck and call simply because they pay attention is far less than you deserve. I could tell you to block the number, to delete the contact and to move on, but it’s likely you and I will keep letting these ne’er-do-wells come back if we don’t deal with ourselves first.
So, here are three things you can do, rather than texting that person back…
1. Go out for a walk. Or, if like Eryn and I, you’ve decided to take up running, then run. When we kick up those endorphins we feel innately better about ourselves. Think of it as a natural happy pill.
2. Invite someone out for a coffee, just because. Being generous with our own lives – showing others kindness – will not only keep your mind off of other things, but also show you that there are people in the world that want to be around you.
3. Put on your fave song and DANCE.
So maybe a lot of these things seem like they’re a bit cheesy or perhaps even just something to distract you. But I promise you that when you realize your value and that you are so worth loving, you won’t accept mediocre treatment, from yourself or anyone else.